Not So Innocent
by nasher91
Summary: Jude turns 18 and is determined to prove she's no longer innocent little Jude, but can she handle all the problems along the way?And can her relationship with Tommy survive these testing times? Deals with "difficult" topics and contains smut @ beginning.
1. Chapter 1:Happy Birthday

_Jude has just turnt 18.Patsy; Karma and Mason aren't in this story. Jude is the one and only Instant Star. She never met Shay, never went out with Speid or Jamie and her parent's never separated. The whole pictures thing never happened ever. So basically Jude is seen as a sweet innocent girl. Other than that everything is the same._

"Happy birthday Jude! Oh I can't believe you're eighteen at last. Still not that much will change. You're little Jude Harrison, no matter what you'll always be the sweet, innocent teenager who won Instant Star all those years ago…"

Jude scowled at her sister as she trailed off. Jude hated that everyone saw her as some precious little girl who was so sweet and innocent that she needed protection every second of every day. Only one person didn't treat her like a child: Tom Quincy. Jude shuddered just thinking about him. She couldn't help it; there was just something about him that made her weak at the knees and her heart race.

She wasn't your typical boy band groupie, that wasn't what attracted Jude to Tommy. It was the sense of danger that he had, he was so intense and passionate about things and his eyes, his eyes alone were enough to make her swoon. Then there was his voice, his velvet smooth voice that caressed her ears whenever he spoke to her. And his laugh, his laugh just gave her goosebumps. And this was before he would touch her. Every brush against her arm, or wrapping his arms around her as he showed her a new chord idea on the guitar or a hug as they completed a single sent shivers down her spine. And then there were the kisses. One each birthday, plus the one from the time of her second album was completed. Each time they kissed Jude had hopes of them being a couple. But it never happened. It didn't stop her from hoping though, and in the meantime she would just replay the kisses in her head like a slide show.

"Jude, Jude are you listening?" Jude shook her head, clearing the bittersweet memories from her mind and focused her attention on her older sister. "What were you thinking about? Wait Jude are you blushing! Oh my gosh that is so cute!"

Ugh Jude hated the word cute, it was such a babyish word. Cute. Cute was for puppies and bunny rabbits and little yellow ducklings. Jude was not cute. Jude was, actually Jude didn't know what she was but she knew what she wanted to be…

Across town Tommy buttoned up his shirtsleeves and glanced at the clock. Half past seven. He still had time to bail on Jude's party; he knew that it would be just like every year. They would find themselves alone and then they'd get caught up in a moment and kiss, it happened every year and then they both went back to pretending like there were no feelings between them. He never understood why they did that: it was pointless pretending something that was so obvious to everyone else and themselves. Tommy knew why he did it: he didn't want the accusations that he knew would come with their relationship. He was older, much older, and she was his artist. It was just unprofessional, something Tommy had been trying to prove he wasn't to Darius ever since he had left Boyz Attack.

This year however was different. Jude was eighteen and technically this made her a woman, although to Tommy she always had been a woman. A beautiful, incredible woman who…no he mustn't think of her like that. Tommy knew deep down that he had to go, and he knew that the usual birthday tradition would happen. Better to get it over with and go on living his lie than try and escape it. Tommy sighed and pulled on his jacket. How he wished things could be different.

"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Jude yelled as she slammed the door shut, car keys in her hand. She threw herself into the driver's seat of her mustang and ran a hand through her hair. She could only think of one place she could go to, she stuck the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the drive. As she drove through the quiet streets a plan of sorts began to formulate in her mind. This year would not be your typical Jude Harrison birthday. It was time for change.

"Jude, erm hi. Wait what are you doing here…sure come on in, make yourself at home." Tommy pushed the door shut, trying to stay calm. Why was Jude here? She should be getting ready for her party. Tommy took a deep breath and exhaled. It would take all of his self-control to not let something happen here, in his house.

Jude bit her lip until her eyes began to water. For her plan to work she needed to lower his defences. She knew him so well; he wouldn't be able to resist her crying. It was in his nature to console her if she was upset. Jude was right; the second he saw the first sign of tears Tommy was by her side pulling her into a hug. "What's wrong Jude? What happened?"

"My, my stupid family. They all treat me like a blinking baby and all I want is to be seen as a woman!" Jude paused to see how Tommy was reacting. His eyes were clouding over as he battled with his thoughts. She carried on, hiccupping for emphasis. "Just one person, that's all I want, one person to see me as a woman and treat me like one. I'm not a little girl anymore!"

Tommy bit his lip, he needed to get a grip, he was in serious trouble of losing it and the idea of what would happen them scared him. He looked down at Jude; she looked so beautiful even when she was crying. Eventually he managed to get out the right sounding words for this situation. "They're your family Jude, to them you'll always be their little girl."

Jude sniffed and wiped her eyes. This wasn't going the way she hoped it was. "But what about everyone else? They all treat me the same, so are they always going to see me as a little girl? And what about you Tommy?" She lowered her voice and moved close to him, "how do you see me?"

"Jude you can't ask me that." Tommy's voice was steely, determined, he would not let Jude break him. He looked away from her as she tried to hold his gaze. Just looking at her gorgeous eyes would be enough to make him lose it completely.

"Jude you can't ask me that," she mocked. "C'mon Tommy, you can tell me. Think of it as my birthday present." She grinned at him knowing he wouldn't be able to wriggle out of telling her.

"I think…" Tommy sighed and appealed to Jude "do I really have to do this?" Jude nodded gesturing him to go on "I think that you are…well I see you as…okay lets try again. In my eyes you are a woman. A beautiful incredible talented woman." Jude opened her mouth to speak but Tommy cut her off. "I think you should go Jude. You have a party to get ready for."


	2. Chapter 2: Birthday Pressent

"But…but I don't want to go." Jude lost her cool and there was panic in her voice as Tommy drove her towards the door. Dammit why did he have to be such a gentleman? Jude dug her heels into the carpet and ground to a stop, Tommy walked into her and she spun round to face him.

"Jude it's not a matter of you wanting to go. It's the best thing if you do go."

"For who? For you, or for me? What are you scared of Tom?"

"Nothing. It's just you have to go get ready for your party. I'll see you there Jude." Tommy pushed at her persistently driving her towards the door.

"Who says I even want this stupid party. It'll just be Darius working the crowd, Sadie getting drunk, my mum cooing over me like I'm a baby, my dad taking pictures and you standing in a corner. And then in typical Jude Harrison birthday tradition we'll somehow be alone together. And you know what happens then don't you Tommy?" Jude dug her heels in again and made Tommy look her in the eyes. He sighed knowing he was defeated.

"What do you want Jude?" He asked weakly. He could sense that this was only going to go one way. Jude pursed her lips, God he wanted to kiss her.

Jude stood on her tiptoes so she could whisper into Tommy's ear. "I want you."

Tommy surrendered to his emotions. He grabbed Jude by the shoulders and kissed her, roughly. She didn't react at first but soon she was kissing him back, almost desperately. Tommy's arms slipped around her waist pulling her close. Jude opened her mouth slightly and a moan escaped from her lips. Tommy felt himself tense up. He pulled back slightly. "We shouldn't be doing this." He murmured, shaking his head and backing away from Jude.

"Stop fighting Tommy, aren't I what you want?"

"You know you are Jude don't ever question that!"

"Well sometimes I have to because you go and pull something like this!"

Tommy ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He looked at Jude. "Are you sure you want this Jude? Because once it happens there is no going back."

Jude opened her mouth to respond but at that moment her cell went off. Jude switched it off and threw it to one side. She faced Tommy again. "I'm all yours Quincy." She said, advancing towards him.

Their lips met and this time it was less rushed, although just as passionate. Jude allowed herself to melt in Tommy's arms. Tommy broke the kiss and Jude opened her mouth to complain. Tommy shushed her with a light kiss on the mouth before moving down to her neck. Jude raised her head to accommodate his movements and tried to hold back her moans. Tommy trailed the kisses back up to her mouth and kissed her roughly again. When he spoke he seemed breathless. "You are so beautiful." Jude smiled and pulled him back to her lips.

A while later Tommy took Jude by the hand and led her upstairs. Once in his bedroom he stopped by the bed and turned to Jude. "Are you sure about this Jude, we can stop now if you want…" Like hell did he want to stop but there was no way he was going to push her into something she didn't want to do.

"Oh I'm sure Tommy. I'm beyond sure." Jude whispered huskily as her fingers swiftly unbuttoned Tommy's shirt and she slid it off his torso. Tommy pushed her gently back onto the bed and trailed kisses along her collarbone. A small sigh escaped from Jude, which made Tommy smirk. He kissed along the neckline of her top and paused as if hesitating. "Tommy, don't stop," protested Jude. Tommy sat up and Jude followed suit, looking alarmed. Tommy kissed her once more before tugging off her top, exposing her taut stomach and purple lace bra. Tommy was about to unhook it and remove it when there was a knocking at the door and Mrs Harrison's voice came through the letterbox.

"Jude I know you're in there. We need to talk about earlier, open the door!"

Jude groaned and collapsed back on the bed. Tommy rolled off her so he was lying next to her. "We could always ignore her I suppose. She can't stay there all night, right?" Tommy turned his head so he was looking at Jude as he posed the question to her. She too turned her head and pulled a face.

"I don't think so. Better go face the music I suppose…"


	3. Chapter 3: Family History

Jude heaved herself up from the bed and searched around for her top that Tommy had just thrown to one side. She couldn't see it anywhere. "Hey Tommy where's my top?"

"Hmmm?" Tommy sat up, looking around him. "I dunno, I wasn't paying attention to where I threw it strangely enough, something else was on my mind. Or rather someone else." Tommy hooked his finger into Jude's jeans waistband and pulled her to him, kissing her stomach. She giggled but reluctantly moved away.

"Tommy I have to find my top. I can't go downstairs in just my bra."

Tommy sighed, "Jude just take one of my shirts and put that on." He pointed towards the wardrobe but kept his eyes on Jude as her hips swayed as she walked to it and selected a white shirt. She buttoned it up and grabbed a belt from a shelf in the wardrobe and fastened it round her waist, turning the shirt into a shirt-dress of sorts.

"I'll be right back." She promised him before leaving the room. Tommy waited a while before moving to the bedroom doorway. He heard Victoria Harrison's voice coming from the doorway.

"Jude stop being so childish and come home. You can't miss your own party!"

"Mum I didn't want this party in the first place. I'll just hang out here with Tommy, its fine. Go and have a good time, you and dad need to spend more time together anyway."

"Jude…"

"Mum just go. I'll call you later, okay?"

Victoria sighed, "Fine, we'll talk when you get in."

The door slammed shut and Tommy hastened to the bedroom as Jude ran up the stairs. He had just made it onto the bed when Jude entered the room. She looked upset and had tears in her eyes. When she saw Tommy watching her she flashed him a fake smile. Tommy got up from the bed and wrapped her in his arms. She stiffened a little but he still held her. Eventually she caved in and her body was wracked with sobs. "It's all so complicated! Why can't it just be simple? All I want is a nice easy life, with my music, my friends, my family and you. That's it. Is that so much to ask Tommy? Is it?" She looked up at him, her face stained from where her tears had run down her cheeks. Tommy kissed her gently.

"No it's not Jude. That's all I want, well maybe take away the family part because I don't have any left."

Jude stared at him. "What happened to them?"

"It's not important Jude, I try not to live in the past. I live for the future."

"Tell me Tom, please."

Tommy sighed and went over to the bed again. "It's complicated Jude…" Jude crossed the room and sat down next to him. She fixed him with those intense eyes of hers, which made him continue. "My dad was never around anyway. He got killed in some stupid street fight he tried to stop. My mum killed herself ten years later by mixing her anti-depressants with alcohol. My younger brother got hooked on drugs and has been missing since mum died; he doesn't even know she's dead. As for my sister she disowned me after the whole Boyz Attack disaster. So here I am. Tom Quincy, all alone."

"You have me Quincy, if you want me that is…"

"Oh I want you Jude, believe me I do."

"Oh you do, do you? Why don't you show me just how much?"

Tommy cupped Jude's face in his hands and kissed her. It started off gently but quickly became passionate. Tommy pushed Jude back on the bed without breaking the kiss and his hands moved down to the belt she had only put on five minutes ago. His fingers nimbly unbuckled and removed the belt, followed swiftly by the shirt. One of Jude's bra straps slid off her shoulder but neither of them noticed. Both of their breathing became heavy as the kiss deepened even more. Jude's hands wandered down Tommy's body to his jeans where they unbuckled his belt and pulled it off, throwing it to one side. Tommy lifted his hips as Jude slid his jeans off and threw them to the side too. Tommy slipped his hands behind Jude's back and unhooked her bra, and that too fell to one side.

Jude sighed in pleasure as Tommy gently sucked one nipple and then the other. Tommy smirked at this and bit the nipple he had in his mouth. Jude moaned louder and Tommy felt himself getting more and more aroused. Suddenly Jude pushed Tommy by the shoulders and rolled them over so she was on top of him. Tommy raised one eyebrow suggestively. "My turn now." Jude whispered huskily. She kissed Tommy on the lips roughly but briefly and before he got a chance to respond began to trail kisses down his body. She reached his boxers and pulled them off. She took him in her hand and kissed the end, making Tommy squirm as he tried to hold back his moans. Jude trailed kisses up and down his shaft before taking it fully in her mouth. It wasn't long before Tommy's moans filled the room along with him huskily calling out her name. When it was over Jude crawled back up the bed and lay her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Jude returned the kiss before resting her head on his chest again. Tommy glanced at the clock. "They'll be at the party now." He commented, trailing his fingers up and down Jude's arm giving her goosebumps.

Jude looked up at him. "Mmmm, hey Tommy I know I said earlier that I didn't want to go…but can we go to my party?"

Tommy smiled at her; he knew she'd change her mind about going. "Sure. We'll be a bit late though, see I have this beautiful woman lying in bed next to me and I'm a bit reluctant to leave so she'll have to persuade me to move…"

Jude returned his grin and kissed him. "I'll make it up to you later, with interest." She added, her eyes sparkling. Tommy raised his eyebrows and jumped out of bed, pulling on his jeans and searching for his belt. "Tommy…" He turned round to face her. "You should go naked more often." Tommy smirked at her and threw one of his tops at her before scooping up his own shirt up from the floor.

Half an hour later and they were ready to go. Jude was dressed in one of Tommy's white shirts with the belt around her waist, making it like a dress, and the heels she had worn over to his house. Tommy was dressed in a white shirt and dark blue blazer with jeans. "Let's go party Ms Harrison." Tommy smirked as he stuck his key in his viper's ignition and they sped towards G Major.


	4. Chapter 4: The Performance

"Jude I thought you weren't coming?" Victoria could hardly keep the bitter tone out of her voice, especially upon seeing her daughter's revealing outfit. "What made you change your mind?"

Jude held back her laughter at her mother's disapproving glances at her outfit and fake smiled at her. "Tommy persuaded me that it would be better spending my birthday here than hiding away at his house, especially after all the effort Darius put into planning this party. Speaking of which, where is Darius?"

Victoria pointed over at the other side of the room, where Darius was being interviewed by a television crew about Jude's lack of appearance. Darius was fielding off their questions as best as possible and his face lit up when he saw Jude making her way over to them. "Here she is. Ladies and gentlemen may I introduce Ms Jude Harrison our Instant Star!" Instantly the cameras panned to Jude who looked awkward as the television crew began to bombard her with questions, very personal questions. Darius sensed her discomfort and fobbed off the journalists saying he needed to talk to Jude about a performance. "So erm Jude, did you lose half your outfit or something?" He questioned, taking in Jude's outfit for that evening.

"Huh, yeah sure thing D." Jude wasn't really paying attention to what Darius was saying; she was scanning the crowd for Tommy. He seemed to have disappeared completely since she'd left him with her mother. "Hey D, can you call everyone to the stage thing you set up? I have a new song I want to perform, if that's okay I mean…" Darius nodded and they went their separate ways. As Jude was being rigged up with a microphone Tommy appeared at her side.

"What are you up to Harrison?" He whispered in her ear sending shivers down her spine and giving her goosebumps.

"Wait and see Quincy." She replied mysteriously as Darius made a brief speech introducing her.

"…And now with an exclusive preview of her new song, the birthday girl and our Instant Star, Ms Jude Harrison!"

Jude ran on stage smiling at the crowd and waving at her sister, who seemed a bit tipsy. "Hi guys, erm well this is my new song. Not even recorded yet. It's called 4ever and I would like to dedicate it to someone very special." Jude discretely caught Tommy's eye and smiled. He grinned back at her, pleased by both her dedication and her discretion.

**Here we are so what you gonna do?  
Do I gotta spell it out for you?  
I can see that you got other plans for tonight  
But I don't really care**

Size me up you know I beat the best  
Tick tock no time to rest  
Let them say what they gonna say  
But tonight I just don't really care

Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever  
Let me show you all the things that we could do  
You know you wanna be together  
And I wanna spend the night with you  
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah  
Come with me tonight  
We could make the night last forever, oh oh

I've seen it all I've got nothing to prove  
Come on baby just make your move  
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight  
Like we just don't care

Let me take you on the ride of your life  
That's what I said alright  
They can say what they wanna say  
Cause tonight I just don't even care

Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever  
Let me show you all the things that we could do  
You know you wanna be together  
And I wanna spend the night with you  
Yeah, yeah with you yeah, yeah  
Come with me tonight  
We could make the night last forever, oh oh

Lets pretend you're mine  
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah  
You got what I like  
You got what I like, I got what you like  
Oh come on  
Just one taste and you'll want more  
So tell me what your waiting for

Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever  
Let me show you all the things that we could do  
You know you wanna be together  
And I wanna spend the night with you  
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah  
So come with me tonight  
We could make the night last forever

Come on baby we ain't gonna live Forever  
Let me show you all the things that we could do  
You know you wanna be together  
And I wanna spend the night with you  
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah  
Come with me tonight  
We could make the night last Forever  
Forever...(echoes)  
Oh oh!

There was a brief silence, as the crowd appeared shocked by Jude's new direction of song topic. Panic flooded Jude as she wondered if they were going to turn on her. Luckily someone in the audience started clapping and soon everyone was applauding her. Jude laughed in relief and took a bow before running of stage, and into Tommy.

"Hey! Phew that was a close one. I thought they were going to turn on me for a minute." Jude giggled again still on an adrenaline high. Tommy shook his head and led her to a quieter part of the room.

"Jude are you insane? If someone guessed what that was about either one of us could have lost are jobs. We still could!"

Jude drew back from him, upset at the tone of his voice and confused at his outburst. Tommy saw the hurt in her eyes and sighed, kissing her swiftly on the lips. "I'm sorry Jude I just worry. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"And it won't Tommy, as long as I've got you nothing bad could happen." Jude said smiling at him. Tommy met her gaze and grinned back.

"Sure thing Harrison, whatever you say." He replied kissing her on the cheek as Darius drew near the pair.

"Tommy, Jude in my office. Now."


	5. Chapter 5: Darius' Office

Jude glanced at Tommy, who looked extremely pissed off, and just knew that Darius knew, or at least had suspicions. They reached his office and Tommy and Jude sat down in the leather armchairs in front of Darius' imposing desk and waited for their boss to speak. When he did they were amazed at what he said and how pleased he looked. "Jude that was killer! You really tore up the crowd tonight. Now I think that now you're older we should start going for songs like that, we could completely re-launch you with a whole new image; new songs; new look, the works. What do you think?"

"Erm, it sounds great D." Jude managed still surprised at the way this was going. She'd really thought this was it for her and Tommy and Darius is sitting opposite them rambling on about re-launching Jude as some kind of sex-goddess. Well at least then Sadie wouldn't be able to call her cute. Jude smirked, which Darius took to be a grin and continued with his speech.

"I like the way you had eye contact with Tommy as well, it all looked very real. I even had people asking me if you two were in a relationship! Can you imagine?" Darius let out a huge guffaw, his eyes twinkling. He stopped short at seeing the looks on both Tommy and Jude's faces. "You're not are you?"

Tommy looked around awkwardly "Well, yeah, kinda."

"Well yeah kinda? Oh crap, please Tom; please tell me you two haven't slept together. That's not why you were late was it?" Darius was almost pleading with them.

"No we haven't slept together, yet." Jude grinned and shot a look at Tommy who was staring at her with his mouth open. Jude winked at him and licked her lips. She was tired of being a good girl, heck she wasn't so innocent anyway.

Darius seemed to miss the subliminal promise, which suited Jude just fine, and he rambled on for a while about his plans and could Jude get writing some songs right away. Jude nodded and assured him she would before she dragged Tommy out of Darius' office and back to the party.


	6. Chapter 6: New Look, New Jude?

Over the next few weeks Jude was cooped up in the studio, thoroughly embracing her new image by writing songs that were completely different to her usual style and dressing up in more revealing clothes: a mini skirt here, a low cut top there and always a pair of high heels. Darius had drafted in Portia to help Jude achieve this look and then Jude was left to herself to write as much material as she could. Of course Mrs Harrison wasn't thrilled about this new look, branding Darius "Jude's pimp rather than manager" and trying to persuade Jude into some "less risqué" outfits. Jude had rejected these outfits and spent all her time out of the studio at Tommy's house, taking full advantage of being eighteen.

"Jude we must stop meeting like this, really we must." Chided Tommy upon opening his door to see Jude sitting on his doorstep once again. Jude looked up and smiled suggestively at him, she stood up and unhooked the belt that bound her coat together. Tommy stood agape as Jude revealed what was, or rather what wasn't, underneath the coat she was wearing. "Then again never say never." He murmured pulling Jude into his house and shutting the door behind her as quickly as possible.

"So, what were you saying earlier?" Panted Jude as she rolled off Tommy and onto the bed beside him. He shrugged absently and pulled her back to him, kissing her passionately. Jude grinned into the kiss and returned the favour knowing what would follow on from this…

The next day Jude stumbled into work with bags under her eyes, not quite as smooth hair as usual and a raspy voice. "Good thing you're not recording today Jude, what were you doing last night? Screaming at the top of your voice for hours on end or something?" Darius probed when he looked in on Jude to see how her writing was going.

Jude grinned as she remembered last night and wondered if Tommy was feeling as tired as she was. "Yeah something like that D." Darius tutted and nodded at Tommy as the two men passed. "Hey babe, you okay or knackered like I am?" Jude raised an eyebrow suggestively as she pulled Tommy into a passionate embrace, ignoring the looks of other workers who passed them. Tommy smirked and kissed her back, ignoring her question, before handing her some glossy magazines. "Why are you giving me these, have they got some sex tips you want me to try or something?" Jude joked leafing through them.

"They all have a bit about you and a review of the song you sung at your party, or rather a review of the new older Jude Harrison and how you're not such an innocent girl anymore."

"If only they knew." Jude joked pulling Tommy further into the room and locking the door behind him…

_A week later_

"And new please welcome Jude Harrison with her new single, _Overprotected_!" The TRL audience cheered and applauded as the studio lights dimmed slightly, except for the odd few that concentrated on Jude. Jude ginned and swayed her hips as the music started, feeling very good indeed in the outfit she was wearing. Tommy had given it the seal of approval last night by taking it off her and keeping her up for several hours longer than she should've been but this time it hadn't affected her voice. As Jude launched into the first chorus she completely lost herself in the music and the song as she usually did.

_**Spoken**_**:  
I need time, (time)  
(Love)  
Joy  
(Joy)  
I need space  
(Love)  
I need me  
(Action)**

Say hello to the girl that I am  
You're gonna have to see through my perspective  
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am  
And I don't wanna be so damn protected

There must be another way  
Cause I believe in taking chances  
But who am I to say what a girl is to do?  
God need some answers

What am I to do with my life?  
(You will find it out don't worry)  
How am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just gotta do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so o-overprotected

I tell them what I like  
What I want  
And what I don't  
But everytime I do  
I stand corrected  
Things that I've been told  
I can't believe what I hear about the world  
I realize I'm o-o-overprotected

There must be another way  
Cause I believe in taking chances  
But who am I to say what a girl is to do?  
God I need some answers

What am I to do with my life?  
(You will find it out don't worry)  
How am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just gotta do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so o-overprotected

I need time  
Love  
I need space (this is it)

I don't need nobody telling me just what I wanna  
What I want what what I'm gonna (I need)  
Do about my destiny  
I say "no no"  
Nobody's tellin me just what i wanna (do) (do)  
I'm so fed up with people telling me to be-e  
Someone else but me

(action)  
(yeah, yeah, yeah)

What am I to do with my life?  
(You will find it out don't worry)  
How am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just gotta do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so overprotected

I don't need nobody telling me just what i wanna  
What i want, what what I'm gonna  
Do about my destiny  
I say "no no"  
Nobody's tellin me just what i wanna (do) (do)  
I'm so fed up with people telling me to be-e  
Someone else but me

What am I to do with my life?  
(You'll find it out don't worry)  
How am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just gotta do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so o-overprotected

The audience applauded wildly as the presenter came over to stand next to Jude in order to link to a break before leading Jude over to the interview area. "Welcome back to TRL and here in the studio with us we have Jude Harrison who has just performed her new song 'Overprotected'. So Jude why the new image?"

"Well I've turned eighteen and it's the beginning of a new journey, I feel I've progressed to another stage in my life and wanted a more mature sound and look. The songs I sung were brilliant and I'll love them forever, but it's time for a new look Jude, with new songs and a new sassier attitude." Jude replied perfectly from a speech Darius had helped her prepare earlier before filming had started.

"Okay so what can we expect from this new Jude?"

"Well as I said my sound will be more mature and obviously as you can see my image has also changed, no more jeans and tops for me," Jude laughed along with the presenter and audience, "so yeah basically it's just a natural progression into an older version of myself. I'll be dealing with more adult topics and won't always play by the rules anymore." From behind the camera the director indicated that time was up, the presenter quickly wrapped up the interview and finished the show. As the red light indicating recording went out Jude relaxed and fell into conversation with several members of the audience who handed her stuff to sign. One of them asked her if she was dating Tommy. "I sure am." Chirped Jude signing her CD with a flourish and waving goodbye to them all as she left to go record the rest of her album.

The next day Darius hauled Jude into his office. "Jude I get that you're legal now but there is no need to go around flaunting relationships to the media!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're little exclusive with _Teen Vogue_, 'Yes I am dating Tom Quincy' what the hell possessed you to do it Jude!"

"I…I didn't do an exclusive, some girl at TRL asked me if I was…oh fuck." Jude slammed her hand down on the desk as she realised she'd been set up at TRL. Darius rolled his eyes and continued his rant at her.

"I have had your mother on the phone yelling at me, I then had your father on the phone threatening me, I've had numerous calls from newspapers and magazines asking if its true and there's a ton of reporters trying to break into G Major to get an exclusive interview with you!"

"I'm sorry D, I really am! I had no idea she was a reporter I really didn't. Can't we like sue them or something?"

"No because it's all part of your job. I don't know if Tommy's heard about this yet…"

"Yes Tommy has heard about it. Morning D, Jude." Tommy's voice frosted from the doorway and Jude sunk even lower into her chair, if she was any lower she'd be on the floor. "Jude what the heck were you thinking? We said we'd try and keep this quiet and then you go and tell Teen Vogue about us!"

"I didn't know!" Jude shot back jumping out of her chair and turning on Tommy. "Do you think I automatically assume that a girl who looks about twelve would be working for a bloody magazine? Strangely enough I don't think that so you can both stop fucking hassling me and help me deal with this crap!" Jude yelled turning from Tommy to Darius and back. "Okay?" She demanded furiously, both men nodded averting their eyes from hers. Jude smiled, satisfied "Good, so what's the next move?"

"You let them know what you had for breakfast? I mean your revealing pretty much everything else at the moment." Jude rolled her eyes as her mother joined them in Darius' office half an hour later at the emergency meeting Darius had called. Jude glared at her mother and turned to Tommy for support. She scowled at him when she found him grinning and trying not to laugh.

"Oh I'm so glad you think this is funny. Can we please lose the digs and just help me figure out what to do, please." Jude burst out sarcastically. The rest of the room looked down at the table in a mixture of embarrassment and shame before Sadie came up with the perfect solution.

"You do an 'at home' thing or some kind of in-depth interview telling everything important so there's no more chances of a surprise exclusive. Then you tie it all in with your new image. There we're done…can I go shopping now?" Jude stared at her sister amazed that such a good idea had come from her brain. Mrs Harrison nodded and left the room with Sadie, leaving just Jude, Tommy and Darius in the room.

"Right, an interview it is then." Declared Darius. "I'll get right on it, now you two…get in the studio. We've already wasted enough time."

Jude followed Tommy through to Studio B and slid the headphones on over her ears. She started to move to the beat as it flooded through the headphones. In the sound studio Tommy raised his eyebrows as Jude started to sing, this was so far from her usual sound it actually scared him. Where was the Jude he knew, the Jude he'd fallen in love with? He wasn't going to say anything though, she was still his Jude and heck maybe this was all just her playing along with Darius' new image idea. Surely she wouldn't be like this when they got back to his, he reassured himself, she'd drop the act then.

**Everybody's lookin' at me  
But that's alright I like attention  
Clubs not hot until I walk through,  
They stop and stare and watch me move**

Like damn[I like that  
I'm sexy and you know it, clap your hands[It's like that  
I'm not afraid to show it, understand [I'm hot, bitch   
Don't be mad at me, go check your man  
Girls and boys are looking at me I can't blame them 'cause I'm sexy

Don't care who's watching me,  
I do just what I would  
Just 'cause I dance with you  
Don't mean your getting some  
Don't get excited baby   
Cause I might turn you on  
Turn you on, turn you out  
Give you something to write about

All the boys are lookin' up at me,  
As I dance on the tabletop  
Tonight I'll be your liquid dreams,  
They want a piece of what I got

Damn [I like that  
She's sexy and she's shakin' all on me [It's like that  
I'm hot and I can't take I need a drink [Yeah, I'm hot bitch!  
She's cooler than I ever thought she'd be  
Girls and boys are looking at me I can't blame them 'cause I'm sexy

Don't care who's watching me,  
I do just what I would  
Just 'cause I dance with you  
Don't mean your getting some  
Don't get excited baby  
Cause I might turn you on  
Turn you on, turn you out   
Give you something to write about

La la la la la la la  
Don't dance to close I might turn you on  
La la la la la la la  
Don't try to impress me my papers long  
La la la la la la la  
Don't believe all that you read  
La la la la la la la  
We can dance all night,  
But you ain't get to none, none  
Sorry I turned you on.  
Take a cold shower when you get home

Girls and boys are looking at me I can't blame them 'cause I'm sexy

Don't care who's watching me,  
I do just what I would  
Just 'cause I dance with you  
Don't mean your getting some  
Don't get excited baby  
Cause I might turn you on  
Turn you on, turn you out   
Give you something to write about

Jude kept the headphones on as the track ended and Tommy fussed around changing the disk and changing the beats ready for the next recording, if they were going to get this album done on time they had to record the songs one after the other praying for a perfect take before they could begin to make any changes or adjustments to them. Tommy sighed as another unfamiliar beat filled the room and Jude begun to sing again.

**Flirt...flirt**

You wanna chill in my Lamborghini?  
You wanna look but you dont wanna see  
So what do you think about that look in my eyes  
You think its for you? You think you read minds?  
You better watch where you're putting those hands  
You better stop if you makin' more plans  
Cus everything you do makes you look like a fool

You're looking for some dirt  
I'm lifting up my skirt  
I'm searching for a light under me in my purse  
You always think the worst,  
I just wanna flirt  
You found me on my knees  
Next thing you're saying "tease"  
I'm trying to find my phone and my keys not your sleaze  
My spell is like a curse,  
I just wanna flirt

What part of no, don't you really understand  
One syllable words old man?  
You got a problem with my space?  
Get your muck out of my face.  
'Cuz i've had it with your lies  
You're pretty damn close to being unfine  
'Cuz everything you do makes you look like a fool

You're looking for some dirt  
I'm lifting up my skirt  
I'm searching for a light under me in my purse  
You always think the worst,  
I just wanna flirt  
You found me on my knees   
Next thing you're saying "tease"  
I'm trying to find my phone and my keys not your sleaze  
My spell is like a curse,  
I just wanna flirt

I'm just so lucky to be walking on a wire   
I'm up so high that i can barely feel your fire  
You can't touch me, no,  
That's just a dream

You're looking for some dirt  
I'm lifting up my skirt  
I'm searching for a light under me in my purse  
You always think the worst,  
I just wanna flirt  
You found me on my knees  
Next thing you're saying "tease"  
I'm trying to find my phone and my keys not your sleaze  
My spell is like a curse,  
I just wanna flirt

Flirt...flirt...flirt...flirt

"Sounds good, links in with the new image brilliantly. Tell her the interview is next Tuesday." Darius praised Jude, informed Tommy and left all before Jude had even seen he had been in the room. Tommy sighed again as he moved on to the next song.

**Oh, I, I, I  
I wanna be bad with you baby  
I, I, I, I  
I wanna be bad with you baby**

Do you, understand what I need, need (from you)  
Just let me be the girl to show you (you)  
Everything that she can be is everything that I can be  
I wanna be  
My turn  
Let me let you know that I can (I can)  
Promise that I won't do that  
So boy, say the time and place cuz you make me wanna misbehave

I wanna be bad  
You make bad look so good or you make that look so good  
I got things on my mind  
I never thought I would  
I, I wanna be bad (bad)  
You make bad feel so good  
I'm losing all my cool  
I'm about to break the rules  
I, I wanna be bad

I wanna be bad with you baby  
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with you baby

What's up?  
Tell me what to do, how to be, teach me  
All you your rules from A to Z,   
But I, I dont wantcha other girls to see  
That you're messin' round with me

Should I boy  
Tell me what I got is what ya want  
Tell, tell me do I, I turn you on  
I don't want no one judging me

I wanna be bad  
You make bad look so good or you make that look so good  
I got things on my mind  
I never thought I would  
I, I wanna be bad (bad)  
You make bad feel so good  
I'm losing all my cool  
I'm about to break the rules  
I, I wanna be bad

I wanna be bad with you baby  
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with you baby  
I, I  
[Repeat

I wanna be bad  
You make bad look so good  
I got things on my mind  
I never thought I would  
I, I wanna be bad (bad)  
You make that feel so good  
I'm losing all my cool  
I'm about to break the rules  
I, I wanna be bad

As Tommy prepared to record the final song he turned on the microphone between the two rooms. "Darius liked the second song, and he says your interview is next Tuesday. Okay final song Jude and then we can go home." Tommy switched of the microphone again and watched Jude as she sung her final song, yet again so far from the type of song he was used to hearing from Jude. He had a feeling it'd take some time for him to get used to the 'new Jude'.

**Won't someone tell me what is happening to me  
Why am I so misunderstood, why can't they see?   
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel that I used to be. **

They say I'll understand it all in good time  
But age ain't nothing but a number in my mind  
I'm goin' crazy with this push me pull me  
Caught between the wrong and right

I wanna give in to the woman in me  
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be  
The moral of the story is I got no choice  
I must not chase the boys

I started writing down my deepest secrets  
Seven days a week of truth and fantasy  
Got the feelin' that the way my life is  
Got to be prepared for changes 

Won't someone tell me what is happenin' to me  
Why am I so misunderstood  
Why can't they see?  
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel  
That I used to be

I wanna give in to the woman in me  
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be  
the moral of the story is I got no choice  
I must not chase...  
I wanna go left but they told me go right  
Don't wanna be the little girl they kissin' goodnight  
the moral of the story is I got no choice  
I must not chase the boys

They could try to make me write a thousand lies  
But that won't ever change the way I feel inside  
They've got their opinions but I just don't care  
Cause that's not what I wanna hear

I, I must, I must not chase the boys  
I, I must, I must not chase the boys  
I must, I must, I must not...chase...the boys

I wanna give in to the woman in me  
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be  
The moral of the story is I got no choice  
I must not chase...  
I wanna go left but they told me go right  
Don't wanna be the little girl they kissin' goodnight  
The moral of the story is I got no choice   
I must not chase...the boys

Tommy watched Jude as she bounded round the room, thrilled that her new album was coming on so well and sighed yet again. Would he ever get used to the new look Jude with her new sound? He really hoped he could.


	7. Chapter 7: Carbon Copy

"Jude come to my office ASAP please, I have something to discuss with you." Jude nodded at Darius' request, set down her guitar and followed him through to his office. She sat down in one of his squishy leather armchairs and waited for him to elaborate.

"My nephew Shay is gonna be in town from tomorrow, I want you to do a duet with him." Jude nodded slowly, digesting this information whilst Darius stormed on. "He's got a little bit of a song together so when he gets here tomorrow he's dropping in to show us what he's got and to give you two a chance to get to know each other and work on the song. So get here early Jude." Jude nodded and rose from the chair as she was at the door Darius called her back. "And Jude, I mean my early not your early. I'll see you tomorrow." Jude smiled sweetly and waved goodbye to him, not looking where she was going, and bumped into Tommy.

"Woah steady there Harrison, didn't anyone ever tell you to watch where you walk?"

"Nope, but I'll make it up to you later if you like." Jude whispered suggestively, her hot breath tickling Tommy's neck.

"Jude how about we have a quiet night, watch a movie or something? Or maybe we could go out and do something instead? We don't have to spend every single night in bed y'know…"

"But that's all so boring! And besides, I like sex with you Quincy. Hey where are you going?"

"To the studio, I got some work to finish up. I'll see you at home." Jude pouted as Tommy shut the door in her face; lately he'd been acting really weird and distant from her. Didn't he want her anymore? Jude realised they'd just had their first argument. Well not bad for four months into the relationship, she mused to herself as she fell into the driver's seat of her blue Mustang. Darius had wanted Jude to upgrade her car but Jude had put her foot on that. Her Mustang was the only part of her past she had left. Jude switched the radio on and hummed along to the song on the radio as she drove away from G Major.

"Oh finally, Jude your father and I want to talk to you."

"Erm okay, what?" Jude questioned sulkily, she'd wanted to get some songs down for tomorrow and now she was being hassled again. She plucked an apple from the fruit basket and bit into it noisily.

"Don't take that tone with us young lady! Some alcohol has been going missing and we were wondering if it had anything to do with you?"

"Yes in fact this is no ordinary apple, it's an alcoholic apple! Wooooo. Seriously do you think I'd be that stupid as to steal alcohol from you? Ask Sadie, it's more likely to be her than me anyway." Jude adlibbed hoping they wouldn't see the look of guilt that had flashed across her eyes. She'd only wanted to try a little bit one night when her parents were out and she was home alone, it hadn't been that much had it?

"Don't cheek your mother Jude it was a simple question."

"And I answered it!" Jude eyed her father for a moment before backing down. "Sorry. But have you asked Sadie because it could have been her?"

"Yes we have asked her, she swears it wasn't her. So either some random person has been stealing our alcohol or one of you two is lying to us."

"Well it isn't me. Look can I go now? I have to get up really early tomorrow…"

Mrs Harrison gave her daughter a once over, decided not to pursue the matter and let her go. As Jude went up the stairs she could hear her parent's muttering in the kitchen and for a moment she almost felt bad for lying to them. Jude shrugged away her guilt and locked her bedroom door before pulling out a bottle of vodka that was half full. She unscrewed the cap and swigged straight from the bottle before replacing the cap and settling into bed.

Several hours later Jude still couldn't sleep. Both her parents and Sadie had gone to bed long ago and the entire house was silent except for the sound of Jude singing quietly to herself. As dawn broke Jude was still writing and after seeing that it was 6am decided to get ready for the studio, there was no chance of her getting any sleep now so she may as well go in even earlier than planned. Jude quickly had a shower and changed from yesterday's clothes before grabbing a banana from the fruit basket in the kitchen and leaving the house. She arrived at G Major exactly half an hour later to find Darius singing to himself thinking he was alone. "Morning D!" Trilled Jude, giggling at Darius' shock.

"Jude when I said early I didn't actually mean this early, you could've come in at nine if you wanted to you know."

"I know, but I erm I couldn't sleep so I decided to come in a bit earlier than planned. I got some ideas for that duet with Shay as well."

"Good, good. Erm just go chill out somewhere, Shay should be here at about seven."

Jude nodded and collapsed onto the sofa in Studio C pulling her guitar close to her and trying to work out some chords for a song she'd been working on before the image change…

"Hey, are you Jude? Uncle D said you'd be in here…"

Jude looked up and gasped. In front of her stood Shay. Jude hadn't been told how good-looking he was and was surprised; she shook her head and stood up, holding out her hand to Shay. "Hi Shay, so erm Darius told me you had some material?" Shay dug into his bag and pulled out a few crumpled pieces of paper. Jude took them from him and sat back on the sofa, as did Shay. An hour later Tommy found the pair singing along to the finished product of their work. He coughed awkwardly and they looked up. "Hey Tommy. Oh erm this is Shay, Darius' nephew. Shay this is Tommy, my producer and…" Jude paused, unsure where they stood after yesterday. Tommy crossed the room to Jude, bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Producer and boyfriend. Nice to meet you," Tommy lied already disliking Shay. "Jude is that the song you two are singing? Darius put me down to work on it with you both so if it's finished we should get recording…Darius is on at us to finish your album as soon as possible as well as this." Jude nodded and the trio moved to Studio A where Kwest was setting up the microphones for Jude and Shay. "Okay, Jude and Shay duet take one." Tommy announced before starting to record. Tommy almost winced as the backing beat filled the room. He was beginning to pine for the old Jude back, the one who'd write him songs like "White Lines" and have such passion for good music. This carbon copy of Jude scared him.

**[Shay Are you ready?  
[Jude Born ready  
[Shay Let's go**

Shay (Jude)

**You call me on the phone  
I act like nothing's going on  
We're driving in my car  
I pretend that you don't turn me on**

(Ahahah)  
You sexy thing and yeah you know it, yeah  
(Ahahah)  
You move it right and yeah you show it  


**Both  
I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that I'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
But don't go running away  
Come on**

[Jude  
I know you're not the one  
But I can tell that this is gonna be fun  
Oh I don't hesitate a lot  
But I can show you what to feel inside

[Shay  
So show me how to feel

(Ahahah)  
You sexy thing and yeah you know it, yeah, yeah  
(Ahahah)  
You move it right and yeah you show it

I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that I'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
But don't go running away  
Come on

I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that I'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
But don't go running away  
Oh  
I'm not in love  
I try to tell myself all the time  
I just can't help how I feel tonight  
So don't go running away  
Yeah

[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude I think I'm too young  
[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude ohh lets have some fun  
[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude Just run away with me  
[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude Yeheah

(Ahahah)  
[Shay You sexy thing and yeah you know it  
[Jude Do you wanna take a ride with me?  
(Ahahah)  
[Shay You move it right and yeah you show it  
[Jude But you can't spend the night with me

[Shay  
I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that I'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
But don't go running away  
Oh  
I'm not in love  
I try to tell myself all the time  
I just can't help how I feel tonight  
So don't go running away

I'm not in love  
I'm not in love 

[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude I'm not in love (no, no, no, no, no)  
[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude I'm not in love (no, no, no, no, no)  
[Shay I'm not in love  
[Jude I'm not in love (no, no, no, no, no)

As the pair sung Darius watched from the lobby smiling to himself completely satisfied that things were going the way he wanted. Sure it was great that Tommy and Jude were together, if a little weird due to the age thing, but Jude needed a slightly edgier love life. It just wouldn't fit with her image if she was all loved up with an ex boy band member. She needed to be associated with someone hot at the moment, someone like Shay. And from the looks of things the pair were obviously attracted to each other, but would anything happen?


	8. Chapter 8: Pap' Trap

"So what's going on between you and Mr Boyband?" Questioned Shay as he walked Jude home from a club later that night. Jude shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself; the evening chill was slicing right through her body. Shay appeared to notice and took of his jacket, wrapping it around Jude's shoulders. Jude smiled gratefully at him and the pair fell into companionable silence as they strolled along the dark streets. As they turned a corner and came upon a slightly busier street Shay slipped an arm around Jude's shoulders, pulling her closer to him. "What? I don't wanna lose you, or get lost either." He said by way of explanation when Jude raised one eyebrow quizzically. Jude decided not to press the issue further and snuggled up to Shay. Suddenly out of nowhere a paparazzi appeared and started photographing them, asking if they were secretly dating. "Hey man, get lost." Spat Shay as he steered Jude across the road where it was quieter. The photographer followed them, still snapping away with his camera, and only stopped when a car blocked his path. Shay grabbed Jude's hand and they ran until they were certain they'd lost him.

"Well, a night out with you certainly is eventful Shay." Remarked Jude as they said goodnight to each other. "Eventful, and the most bizarre night I've had for quite a while…" Jude was cut of when Shay bent down and kissed her tenderly. Despite herself Jude found herself being caught up in the moment and whole-heartedly returning his kiss. Neither of them noticed the man on the other side of the street snapping away with his camera…

_The Next Day_

"Jude, normally I'm very easy going in relationships but why the hell are there photos of you kissing Shay a) very publicly and b) as if you don't have a boyfriend all over the tabloids?"

"What?" Jude sat up staring in horror at Tommy as he threw a magazine in her face before storming off. Something told Jude she had a lot of explaining to do.


	9. Chapter 9: Loverboy

"Tommy…Tommy wait." Tommy paused mid-stride and turned to face her, crossing his arms and waiting for her explanation. "It wasn't what it looks like, it's a publicity stunt set up to promote the single. Someone tipped off the paps and they followed us on our 'date'." Fibbed Jude, using air quotation marks around the word date. Tommy frowned sceptically then relaxed, apparently buying her story.

"I'm sorry Jude, it's just I know what guys like Shay want. I was one of them remember." He wrapped his arms around her and Jude had to push away the guilt that was slowly building up in the pit of her stomach. She saw Shay enter the building and raise an eyebrow at hers and Tommy's embrace, Jude looked away just as Shay winked and carried on walking as if everything was normal…

"So what am I, you're bit on the side?" Joked Shay when he finally got Jude by herself later that day. Jude shrugged and made to leave, Shay grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. "Seriously Jude, I'm not here to be played. Where do I stand?"

"It was a kiss. What needs explaining?" Jude shrugged of Shay's grip and headed outside. She had to get out of G Major and away from her image for a while, she missed the old her and the only place she could go was her rehearsal space. She just hoped Speid and the guys weren't there.

"Hey Jude, s'up?" Hollered Kyle as Jude entered the room. Jude sighed and wondered if everyone was against her that day. "How's lover boy?" Jude glared at him as Speid appeared.

"Kyle that's wrong dude. It's who's lover boy, not how's lover boy." Speid corrected him, grinning as he brandished the same article Tommy had thrown at her earlier that day. Jude kicked out at him and grabbed the magazine from him, ripping out the page and throwing it at Speid's head. "Woah! Jude chill, we're joking." Speid amended, grabbing Jude by the shoulders as she ran after Kyle. Jude pouted at him and Speid understood just why Shay had kissed her last night: she did have very kissable lips. Speid shook the thought from his head and considered the Jude in front of him. She looked so unhappy, and tired. "You okay dude?" He asked, lowering his voice so only she could hear his question. Jude's watery gaze met his and for a moment he thought she'd spill. However she flashed him a grin and broke free from his grasp.

"I'm fine Speidy." She trilled, hating herself for lying to her oldest friend. "Just fine." Speid knew she was lying but decided not to press it. Muttering an excuse he wandered off dialling on his cell phone.

Ten minutes later Tommy pounded on the rehearsal space's door. Speid looked up from the foosball table and raced Jude to the door. Speid won and Jude retreated back to the foosball table. Speid made sure that the door was propped open so he could get back in and went outside.

"Is she okay, nothing's happened has it?" Tommy asked, craning his neck and trying to see Jude through the small gap in the doorway. Speid shook his head and pushed Tommy further down the corridor.

"I'm worried about her, this new Jude isn't her and I can tell she isn't in to it. Not properly."

"Yeah well I'm not exactly thrilled with it either Vincent. But she closes in on herself everytime I try to talk about it. We hardly ever talk any more." He muttered, more to himself than Speid. Speid sighed and the two men went their separate ways. Speid kicked the door prop out of the way and was suddenly glad that Tommy had left rather than hang around. Jude was sitting on the battered couch making out with Kyle.

"Kyle, out. Jude stay." Speid took control of the situation and shoved Kyle out into the corridor, locking the door behind him. He faced Jude who was sitting on the couch looking afraid of the reprimand that she knew was coming her way. "What the heck were you thinking Jude? Kyle is…he's Kyle! It's just wrong. Tommy was outside, didn't it occur to you that he could've come back in with me? Seriously Jude, sort it out. First Shay, now Kyle. Who's next?"

Jude rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "Okay fine, whatever. Can I go now dad?" She said glaring at Speid as her sarcasm hit him. Speid sighed and turned away from her.

"I think that's best Jude. Let me know when you're sorted." Speid slammed his fist on the wall as Jude shut the door behind her, he was scared for Jude but he knew that until she realised just how much a mess she was making of her life she would deny any misgivings.


	10. Chapter 10: No More

"Jude, don't." Moaned Tommy as Jude pushed him into an empty studio and locked the door. "Don't do this to me."

"I'm not doing anything." She replied as her hands slid lower down his body, smirking as he squirmed. "You can stop me anytime you want to." She told him, knowing full well that he wouldn't.

"Someone could come in." He protested weakly.

"Not without the key they can't." She assured him, pulling the key out from her bra. Tommy scanned his brain frantically for a reason to stop but failed to find one. He decided that the best thing for it would be to surrender, but he wasn't sure how long he could put up with these antics from Jude before he snapped. "Tommy." Jude murmured as he grabbed her hips and pulled her even closer to him, now fully returning her kiss. Jude felt herself shiver with anticipation and pulled away from the kiss. "Now." She demanded. Tommy hesitated, unsure, and Jude sighed in annoyance. Tommy came to a decision and quickly pulled her top off throwing it far across the room. Jude's hands were tugging at the buttons of Tommy's jeans as he lifted her skirt up and trailed kisses up her neck. Jude eventually managed to prise open the fiddly buttons and Tommy's jeans dropped down his body. He stepped out of his jeans and laid Jude down on the floor. Tommy's lips muffled her moans as he penetrated her. Jude buried her face in his shoulder and took in every sensation of the moment, the only time that day she felt truly alive.

"Ah Jude, Tommy there you two are!" Called Darius as they snuck out of the empty studio some time later. Jude blushed and avoided looking at Darius thinking they'd been caught. "The album so far, is stellar. A few more tracks and it'll be ready for release. Good work." He informed them as he shook Tommy's hand before walking off.

Tommy turned to Jude. "No more Jude," he told her seriously. "No more."

"What do you mean?" She said, feeling bewildered.

"You can't do this to me. I care about you too much for this. Something is going on with you and I don't get it, because you won't open up to me. Let me know when you decide you want to talk." He said coldly as he strode off to his office, leaving Jude standing alone in the lobby.


	11. Chapter 11: One Month Later

_One month later…_

_Jude and Tommy's relationship has begun to deteriorate, so much so that Darius has stopped him working on Jude's album and left it up to Kwest. Jude never opened up to Tommy and so he distanced himself from her as much as possible. Tommy has been flirting with Sadie for a while and they have a date scheduled for the next week. Jude on the other hand was not dating: preferring instead to have one-night stands with as many guys as possible. To those around her she'd switched to self-destruct, but Jude maintained that she was fine… _

"Hey T, wait up." Kwest ran to catch up with Tommy as he strode out of the studio after another row with Jude. Tommy paused and waited for Kwest to catch up to him before continuing to walk. Kwest fell into stride with him and continued. "We're all worried about Jude man, she seems to be going downhill. D got a call today from one of the tabloids and, well it's not looking great."

"Why's that Kwest?" Enquired Tommy sounding, and looking, bored. They were on the street now and Kwest lowered his voice, checking that nobody was paying too much attention to them.

"They have pictures of her dancing on tables, up the skirt shots showing her commando, making out with random men and falling out of clubs drunk. T she's a sinking ship man…"

"What's this got to do with me?" Tommy snapped impatiently, turning abruptly down a side street to where his bike was parked.

"A sinking ship needs its lifeboats. Without you Ship Jude has no lifeboats. She needs you Tommy." Kwest slapped Tommy on the shoulder and headed back to G Major where Jude was waiting for him to set up for her next song, leaving Tommy standing by his bike stunned out of a response.


	12. Chapter 12: Your New Girlfriend

"Heya Jude!" Sung Tommy as he entered the studio early one November morning. He chuckled to himself as Jude jumped before wincing and glaring at him. "Rough night?" He asked, patronising her. He'd been staying at the Harrison house with Sadie when he'd heard Jude sneak in very early that morning. Jude fine-tuned her glare so it was even harsher, before resting her head in her hands.

"Just kill me now Quincy, get it over with." She mumbled to herself. She knew that Sadie had snuck Tommy in and out of the house, and she knew he'd been there when she'd snuck in that morning. The thought of what they got up to killed her slowly, one day at a time. Tommy saw her lips moving but couldn't make out what it was, he decided not to push her to talk to him considering she could quite easily inform her parent's about his presence at the house last night. "Can we just get on with it?" She said, this time a little louder. Tommy nodded and followed Jude's directions for the tempo and beat of another new song in Jude's new style. Whilst it sounded like a song the "new Jude" would sing, the lyrics didn't quite match her new image. It was like a subliminal message from her to him. Tommy raised the volume in the booth as Kwest wandered in to check up on progress. Out of the corner of his eyes Tommy saw Kwest raise his eyebrows as the message in the lyrics jumped out at him. Tommy turned away: he didn't want, or need, Kwest probing his feelings right now.

**So many crazy memories of you and me  
Like the time we drove to the O. C.  
Got so lost we thought we would never get home  
You know the night when i gave my heart to you  
And you swore that you felt the same too  
You said that you would never, ever leave me alone**

Out of nowhere you were gone  
Into in someone else's arms  
Should've known that she was more than just a friend  
All the things I never knew  
But I always trusted you  
Never thought that she would wind up in the end  
Your new girlfriend  
Your new girlfriend

I believe what goes around comes around  
So stay out of the deep end or you'll both drown  
Even shallow water is over her head  
You broke my heart but hey baby life goes on  
Everything goes down for a reason  
Now I can see for me there's something better ahead

Out of nowhere you were gone  
Into in someone else's arms  
Should've known that she was more than just a friend  
All the things I never knew  
But I always trusted you  
Never thought that she would wind up in the end  
Your new girlfriend

I don't know what i was thinking  
To let us get this far  
Cause now that I see who you really are  
You can have your new girlfriend

Out of nowhere you were gone  
Into in someone else's arms  
Should've known that she was more than just a friend  
Deep inside I think I knew  
But I always trusted you  
Never thought that she would wind up in the end  
Your new girlfriend

Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend  
Oh, oh ah your new girlfriend

Jude looked up from the microphone to see Tommy staring determinedly at the soundboard, whilst Kwest was looking directly at her. Kwest thought he saw something in Jude's eyes and decided to take a chance: he inclined his head towards Tommy, silently asking if the song was about him. He was surprised when Jude, after briefly hesitating, nodded quickly. Kwest let out a low whistle and wondered if anybody else saw what he did when he looked at Jude. The girl was miserable. She hated this image, she hated her new music, she hated not having Tommy, she hated Sadie for having Tommy and she hated herself for hating Sadie. Kwest considered whether or not he should let Tommy in on any of this but decided it was better he found out for himself. What was the worst that could happen?


	13. Chapter 13: Falling Apart

'Urgh why am I so screwed up? Why can't I just be happy for Sadie and Tommy?' Jude thought to herself as she threw herself onto her bed later that day. She had been busted trying to sneak out and as a result was under house arrest, Harrison style. Not only was she to stay in her room (with the windows locked) and have no access to the internet or the phone, she wasn't even allowed to go down to the studio out of hours, and the rehearsal space was so off limits the Incredible Hulk had more chance of getting into there unnoticed. Jude sighed and dragged her guitar case out from underneath her bed. Stuart Harrison had just gone out, Victoria and Sadie had gone shopping and Jude was home alone. She flipped open the case and delicately ran her fingers over the guitar's body, how she'd missed her guitar. Jude grabbed her notebook from the case's lining pocket and found a fresh page. Time for some real song writing.

**It's been too long  
Don't think I've seen you smile at me for quite a while  
And we're too busy doing things  
We haven't noticed what's missing  
Where's the fun we used to have?  
My childish ways and your sarcasm  
Silly jokes and fairy tales  
Where did we leave them?  
Lost in the backyard**

**  
Your lasso my tiara  
My wand, your plastic bazooka  
Why can't we be how we were  
In the backyard**

Your cowboy hat, my tutu  
You hide and seek, I catch you  
Why can't we be how we were in the backyard?

**In the backyard**

**  
Simple days of hand in hand  
And drawing our names in the sand  
Somehow life just complicates  
Our buried treasure it just waits  
Lost in the backyard**

**Your lasso my tiara  
My wand, your plastic bazooka  
Why can't we be how we were  
In the backyard**

Your cowboy hat, my tutu  
You hide and seek, I catch you  
Why can't we be how we were in the backyard?

**In the backyard**

**  
You can still meet me in the garden  
You and I and hide behind the rose's bed  
You and I  
You and I  
Lost in the backyard, again**

**Your lasso my tiara  
My wand, your plastic bazooka  
Why can't we be how we were**

**In the backyard**

Your cowboy hat, my tutu  
You hide and seek, I catch you  
Why can't we be how we were in the backyard?

**In the backyard**

Jude laid her guitar on the bed as she let the pent up tears of the past three months fall unperturbed down her made-up face. She leant back against the bed's headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her face in her knees and choking out sob after sob, not caring if any given member of her family arrived home and found her like this. She was so tired of pretending and so tired of the pain. Suddenly an idea hit her, it was one that she'd read about in a magazine article a few weeks back. At the time it had repulsed her but now she understood why people did it. Jude slipped off the bed and padded barefoot into the bathroom. She bent down and retrieved the spare razor blade from the little shelf under the sink. The thing was where to do it? Her wrists would be too noticeable, as would her arms and legs past the knees, all because of her new image. Jude returned to her bedroom with the blade and considered herself in the full-length mirror in the corner. She folder up her skirt and located the inside of her thigh, smooth and pale with the veins obvious. Jude smiled absently to her reflection. Perfect. She bit down on her lip as she pressed the blade to her skin, waiting for the burst of pain to hit her. However all she felt was a quick slice of pain when the blade pierced her skin, that and the overwhelming sense of relief flooding into her as a small trickle of blood ran down her leg. Jude grabbed some tissue and wrapped up the blade in there before wiping off the excess blood and ensuring that the cut had stopped bleeding. She checked that nobody had arrived home before making her way downstairs to the medicine cupboard and getting the antiseptic to wipe over her cut. No point in it getting all gross and infected. Jude placed the antiseptic back just as she heard someone's keys slide into the lock. Jude wiped at her face and rolled her skirt back down, composing herself for whoever was about to walk in. By the time Sadie had noticed Jude standing in the kitchen, Jude had fixed a sunny smile on her face and was getting a glass of water. Sadie smiled and waved at her before heading upstairs with her shopping. Jude's smile slipped as soon as Sadie's feet had disappeared. What she hadn't noticed was Tommy standing in the doorway nervously. Jude turned away from him and stared out of the window. There was no way she could let Quincy even begin to think she was falling apart. It didn't matter that she was, so long as he didn't know.


	14. Chapter 14: VMA prep

"Jude you're performing tonight at the VMAs. I want a new song; you and Tommy have Studio C all to yourselves for the rest of the day. When you're finished check in with Portia and she can hook you up with something to wear." Darius briefed Jude the moment she walked in the doors on Monday morning and, before she'd even had a chance to register everything, had promptly disappeared into his office. Jude sighed and headed over to Studio C. As she neared the door she could hear hushed voices coming from inside. Jude instantly recognized Tommy's velvet voice and hovered, wondering who he was talking to. A second later the other person replied and Jude rolled her eyes. As Sadie continued to speak Jude edged closer to the door so she could hear what they were saying.

"…Tommy, be serious, nothing is wrong with Jude."

"I am serious Sadie. Something is going on with her, you can't tell me you haven't seen it?"

Jude resisted bursting in and confronting them, discussing her behind her back like that! Instead she raised her fist and knocked at the door, hastily fixing a smile on her face, before pushing it open. Sadie was looking at the floor and Tommy fixed his eyes upon Jude as she walked in the room. For a fraction of a second Jude considered crumpling and throwing herself into his arms but held herself back. "Darius said we had to do a new song." She told Sadie, who was now gazing at Jude suspiciously. Sadie held her hands up in surrender and left, blowing a kiss to Tommy on her way out. Tommy watched Jude as she crossed to where Sadie had just been sitting and sat down. Jude pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Tommy. "I wrote this the other night. What do you think?" She asked him as he unfolded the song and considered it. Despite her new image Jude craved Tommy's praise over her work, even if they both knew he was lying. Tommy sighed as he finished scanning the lyrics and handed the paper back to her.

"It's fine Jude, let's get the vocals laid down." He directed her, nodding towards the booth and ignoring her at the same time. Jude numbly did as she was told. Tommy hadn't said anything good about her song. Normally he said it was "amazing" or "brilliant" or more recently at least a "good" but never before had he told her that her work was "fine". Fine never defined anything properly. It was his way of saying 'it's good enough but I know you can do better.' Well she'd show him. Jude tapped her foot to the beat as it flooded through the headphones and got ready to sing.

**Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da**

So I was thinking to myself when you passed me by  
"Here's what I like"  
And you were with somebody else but you can't deny  
That's me in your eye

Do you know what it's like,  
When it's wrong but it feels so right?

Nothing in this world can stop us tonight  
I can do what she can do so much better  
Nothing in this world can turn out the light  
I'm gonna make you feel alright tonight.  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da, Tonight  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da

Baby, you and I, we got what will never be  
You know I'm right  
So tell me what you're waiting for when you're here with me?  
Most guys would die

You should know what it's like,  
When it hurts, 'cause it feels so right

Nothing in this world can stop us tonight  
I can do what she can do so much better  
Nothing in this world can turn out the light  
I'm gonna make you feel alright tonight.  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Tonight  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da

I gotta tell you somethin'  
It's somethin' that you just might like  
No, it's not the same thing  
Yeah, you'll learn I'm not too shy  
You and I, we can do this thing tonight

Nothing in this world can stop us tonight  
I can do what she can do so much better  
Nothing in this world can turn out the light  
I'm gonna make you feel alright tonight.  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Tonight  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da

Nothing in this world can stop us tonight  
I can do what she can do so much better  
Nothing in this world can turn out the light  
I'm gonna make you feel alright tonight.  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Tonight  
Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da

Several hours later and Jude had managed to perfect the song, leaving her free to pick an outfit for that night's award ceremony and her performance outfit. Portia was standing in wardrobe by a new rack of dresses. A sequined silver mini dress caught Jude's eye as she ran her eyes along the rack. She pulled it out of the rack and held it up against herself, twisting and turning in front of the mirror, before turning to Portia. "Entrance outfit?" She asked knowing that if the dress didn't look good on her then Portia wouldn't hesitate to tell her so. Portia considered her for a moment before begrudgingly nodding and indicating to another rack, telling Jude to pick her performance dress out of there. Jude handed Portia the silver dress and begun to flick through the next rack. Wanting something different, and less glamorous, than her entrance outfit Jude was having difficulty finding an outfit for her performance. When she reached the end of the rack and hadn't even picked out one outfit Portia sighed and pointed to a second rack marked 'performance clothes'. Jude grinned and proceeded to go through this rack.

By the end of the fourth rack, both Jude and Portia were getting annoyed with each other: Portia didn't understand why Jude couldn't just pick an outfit, and Jude didn't understand why Portia hadn't appeared to have found a suitable outfit for her performance. Eventually they both commandeered a company computer and searched desperately online for the perfect dress. Twenty minutes later Jude squealed excitedly as Portia found The Dress. Within a matter of seconds Portia had the company on the phone demanding the dress to be delivered to G Major by that evening. Feeling elated Jude managed not to complain too much when told she'd have to wait for the dress herself. Instead she spent the day practicing her hair in the mirror and pondering make up choices for that evening.

At half past five Tommy was locking up Studio C where he'd spent most of the day when Jude strode out of the woman's bathroom wearing her entrance dress for the VMAs. In typical Jude fashion she wasn't looking where she was going and walked straight into Tommy. As Jude fell to the floor Tommy reflexively grabbed her hand and pulled her back, straight into his chest. Jude didn't even have to look up to realise that it was Tommy's chest she was so close to as his smell invaded her senses and intoxicated her. She bit her lip as she fought back ideas of pushing him into one of the studios and kissing him like she'd longed to do for months. "Erm…I…thanks." Jude whispered to his chest. Tommy swallowed awkwardly, wondering how to get out of this situation without breaking his private resolve.

"Anytime. You look really…wow, you look good, girl." He told her, the warmth in his voice setting Jude's heart racing. Just as Jude was considering screwing her new image, grabbing Tommy and making him hers again the courier arrived with the dress. Coughing to indicate his presence he hovered by the door, giving Jude the chance to retain her emotionless state as she walked over to sign for the dress. She flashed a smile at the courier, took her second dress and hung it up on the coat stand and walked straight past Tommy into the women's bathroom with her purse. Her close encounter with Tommy had jarred her completely and she was shocked by how much he still affected her. She reached into her purse and pulled out the blade, whimpering as the pain washed over her.

_Jude's first dress (for the red carpet and actual ceremony):_

second dress (for the performance):


	15. Chapter 15: VMARock&Roll Dreams

"She won our hearts on Instant Star and now here she is with her brand new single. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage, Jude Harrison!" The crowd applauded as the lights went up and focused on Jude and her dancers. The song was a hit and the audience, especially the guys, loved it. From his position backstage Tommy wondered when it had all started to go wrong. It felt like he was the only person to see it, and for once he didn't know what to do or say to help Jude back from the place she was currently in. That was what tonight was about. He checked his cufflinks for the millionth time as he waited for his cue. Behind him he heard a chuckle and Sadie slipped her arm through his.

"Worried they won't like you Tom?" She asked, going to kiss his lips and instead hitting his cheek as he looked away from her and towards Jude. Sadie ignored the nagging feeling that things weren't right and soldiered on. "Relax, they'll love you as much as I do. The song is brilliant Tommy, just remember that." Tommy nodded absently as onstage Jude finished her song and began to introduce a surprise act, he watched as she faltered at his name and after a brief delay began to applaud him as well. "Go get 'em tiger." Sadie whispered into his ear as he was handed a microphone and ushered onstage. As he passed Jude she raised her eyebrows quizzically at him, and as the music started up he noticed that she was hanging around to see what was going on. Tommy just prayed that this, his last resort, would work.

**You can't run away for ever  
But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start  
You want to shut out the night, you want to shut down the sun  
You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart**

Think of how we'd lay down together  
We'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong  
Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the Gods  
Someone must have blessed us when they gave us those songs

I treasure your love  
I never want to lose it  
You've been through the fires of hell, and I know you've got the ashes to prove it

I treasure your love  
I want to show you how to use it  
You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt, and I know you've got the scars to prove it  


Tommy wasn't stupid. He'd had his suspicions and tonight they'd been confirmed. He'd heard Jude's whimpers coming from the bathroom earlier that evening and he'd seen the razor blade in the bin just outside the bathroom. He was even more worried than he'd originally been and he knew that he had to tell Jude that he knew, without letting anyone else get the subliminal message behind this song.

**  
Remember everything that I told you,**

**And I'm telling you again that it's true  
When you're alone and afraid and you're completely amazed  
To find there's nothing anybody can do  
Keep on believing, and you'll discover baby**

He had to remind Jude that he was there for her that despite what it looked like he still loved her deep down within. Sneaking a look back at the Harrison sisters Tommy felt a stab of guilt as he realised that he was playing Sadie, as much as she was a lovely girl his heart would never belong to her. Even if Jude didn't open up to him tonight he had to end it with Sadie, it wasn't fair to anybody- least of all her.

**There's always something magic  
There's always something new  
And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through  
The beat is yours for ever  
The beat is always true  
And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through,  
for you**

Once upon a time was a backbeat  
Once upon a time all the chords came to life  
And the angels had guitars even before they had wings  
If you hold onto a chorus you can get through the night  


Tommy wanted to remind Jude of their song writing sessions. She'd have the lyrics and he'd provide the chords, or he'd put lyrics to her chords. Sometimes, when the songs were completely about him, she'd come to him with a complete song and they'd always talk for hours, right through the night. She was his angel, and his angel needed her wings before she sunk any further into hell.

**  
I treasure your love  
I never want to lose it  
You've been through the fires of hell, and I know you've got the ashes to prove it**

I treasure your love  
I want to show you how to use it  
You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt, and I know you've got the scars to prove it

Remember everything that I told you, and I'm telling you again that it's true  
You're never alone, 'cause you can put on the 'phones,  
and let the drummer tell your heart what to do  
Keep on believing, and you'll discover baby

There's always something magic  
There's always something new  
And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through  
The beat is yours for ever  
The beat is always true  
And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through,  
For you!

**(The beat is yours forever. That's when rock and roll dreams come through)[Repeat to fade**

The crowd cheered wildly as Tommy turned away from the microphone and headed backstage where Sadie was waiting by herself. As Tommy approached her she faced him and Tommy was surprised to see she was silently crying. Upon seeing his worried expression Sadie gave him a watery smile. "It's always been her, hasn't it?" She asked. Shocked by the question, but knowing she deserved the truth, Tommy nodded. Sadie smiled again and attempted to stem her tears. "I should've known. You two are made for each other, I just thought that maybe I could be enough for you Tom. But I'll never be enough because you're so in love with my sister it's obvious to everyone but her. Sure you've told her that you love her but she doesn't realise how much and she doesn't realise that you'd do anything for her. She is your world. I guess I just wanted even a little bit of that love for myself. I should never have tried to be your new Jude, because there never will be a new Jude will there Tommy?" Completely astounded by her insight to his mind Tommy found himself lost for words and shook his head again. Sadie glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were alone before continuing. "You're a great guy Tommy. If anyone can help Jude, it's you. If you're looking for her she went to the bathroom." Tommy paled and his eyes widened. "What?" Asked Sadie, sensing something serious from the look on his face.

"Did she have a purse with her?" Tommy asked her frantically.

"What…I…I don't know. Why?"

"Sadie this is really important. Did Jude have her purse with her?" Tommy grabbed Sadie's shoulders and stared intensely at her. "Try and remember Sadie, please." Sadie bit her lip as she thought before nodding.

"Why is it important if she had her purse with her?" She questioned as Tommy searched his pockets for his cell. Rather than answering her Tommy ran off towards the nearest bathroom, leaving Sadie to follow him.

Tommy pushed open the bathroom door and ran to the first locked toilet stall. He knocked on the door. "Jude? Jude are you in there?" He rushed, when there wasn't an answer he dropped to the floor and looked under the stall door. Jude's performance dress was visible as was Jude's wrist and a sliver of silver. Tommy's breath caught in his throat as Sadie walked in. "Jude…Jude let me in!" Tommy cried, desperately banging on the door. He thrust his hand into his jacket pocket and handed Sadie his cell. "Phone an ambulance," He told her as he considered how he could get into the tiny stall, "NOW SADIE!" He yelled when she stood there frozen to the spot. Jolted to her senses Sadie flipped open his cell and dialled as Tommy went into the next stall and stood on the toilet so he could peer over into the stall Jude was locked in. "Jude." He whispered as he took in the sight before him.

"Tommy they'll be here in ten minutes. Now tell me what has happened to my sister." Said Sadie, handing Tommy back his cell and attempting to join him on the toilet seat where he was staring at Jude. Tommy pushed Sadie back down before she could see the mess her sister was in. Sadie glared at Tommy, took off her heels and clambered back onto the toilet seat determinedly. As she saw her sister lying in a crumpled mess of mini alcohol bottles and a razor blade coated with fresh blood Sadie swayed, trying not to retch or pass out. Tommy slipped his arm around Sadie's shoulder, partly to stop her from falling off the seat and partly to comfort her. As Sadie sobbed into Tommy's torso his eyes never left Jude's face.

"Hang on Jude. I'm here now, don't you leave me girl not when I love you."


	16. Chapter 16: Talking At Last

Tommy watched helplessly as Sadie climbed into the back of the ambulance, the doors were slammed shut and it drove away into the night. It had all happened so quickly. One minute Sadie was sobbing into his chest and the next he was helping the ambulance crew get to Jude in the tiny stall. The VMAs had been over for hours, the street was empty and the rain found no obstacles as it sought the ground. Tommy sighed and headed for the car park, maybe they'd have a better idea about the likelihood of Jude's recovery by the time he'd got to the hospital.

"How is she?" The words tumbled out of his mouth as soon as he saw Sadie sitting in a hard, plastic waiting room chair. Sadie raised her head and Tommy was shocked to see how pale she was. "Have they said anything?" He asked, more gently this time as he saw how upset the older Harrison sister was. Sadie shook her head and let it fall back into her hands. Tommy sighed and fell into the chair next to her.

Hours later and both Tommy and Sadie were still in the waiting room. Victoria and Stuart Harrison had been called in from home and were talking to the doctor in his office. Tommy glanced impatiently at the office door every few seconds whilst Sadie lightly dozed in the chair next to him. Almost half an hour later the office door opened, jolting Sadie awake. Tommy pushed himself up out of his chair and watched for any signs of news on the doctor's face. The doctor met Tommy's eye and wandered over to them. "Tom Quincy?" The doctor asked, checking a sheet on his clipboard. Tommy nodded praying this doctor wasn't about to ask for an autograph or something equally stupid. "Miss Harrison has asked to see you. You have five minutes." Tommy's eyes widened and he ran off down the corridor in the direction the doctor had pointed in.

"Tommy?" Tommy stopped and backtracked to the room he'd just passed. Lying in the bed, her fierce red hair standing out against the pale room was Jude. Tommy rushed into the room and was straight at her bedside, her hand in his. Jude exhaled and sunk back into the pillows, glad that he was actually here with her. "I'm sorry." She whispered, turning her head away from him. Tommy placed his other hand on her cheek and turned her face back to him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He told her sternly. He stared into Jude's eyes for a moment before crumpling. "I was so scared back there, I thought I was gonna lose you for good." He said, his gaze never leaving her face. Tears welled up in Jude's eyes.

"I've been cutting myself." She confessed, looking like a small child who was confessing to ruining the family heirloom. Tommy smiled sadly.

"I know, well I guessed. Tonight pretty much confirmed that. Why did you do it Jude?"

"I had nobody to talk to."

"You had me!" He burst out, frustrated.

"No Tommy, you had Sadie. Sadie had you. I had no one. Anyway what was I gonna say?"

"That you were struggling, that you were hurting. That you needed help…that you needed me Jude. That's what you were meant to say. All those times I said that I knew something was going on, all those times I yelled at you or fought with you over a song. You could have told me anything and I would've given everything to help you."

A tear trickled out from the corner of Jude's eye and she smiled weakly at him, gently squeezing his hand. "I know that now." She whispered, averting her eyes from his. "I'm sorry Tommy, I wanted to tell you so much. But I wanted to prove that I could handle it all, I wanted to show how grown up I was. That I wasn't a child anymore."

"Jude being an adult isn't about having it all sorted. Do you know how many times I've screwed up? There are nights when all I want to do is phone my mum or my dad and cry down the phone at them, begging them to help me. Being an adult, being grown up, is about asking for, and accepting, help."

Jude opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the ward nurse. "Mr Quincy, your time is up. Jude sweetie you have to rest." Jude pulled a face, but snuggled up against the pillows anyway, as Tommy bent down and kissed her cheek before leaving the room. "Visiting hours start at half seven tomorrow morning." The ward nurse whispered, sensing that somehow Tommy would be here as early as possible demanding to see Jude otherwise. Tommy smiled at her before turning out of the corridor and back into the waiting room. The rest of the Harrison family were gone, they'd left soon after Tommy had gone in to see Jude knowing that Tommy would be in there a long time. Tommy thanked the nurse who had followed him and headed to the car park to get some rest.


	17. Chapter 17: Building Bridges

Promptly at half seven the next morning Tommy was ready and waiting in reception. The nurse who had spoken to him last night walked into reception saw him and smiled at his eagerness. "Visiting hours have begun, Mr Quincy. She's been asking for you." She informed him gently, knowing that this little fact would mean the world to him. Tommy flashed a smile of thanks at her before speeding to Jude's room and bedside. Desperate to see her again, to make sure she was still there.

Sure enough Tommy entered the room and his angel was lying there, staring up at the ceiling. Upon hearing his footsteps Jude dropped her gaze and caught his eye. "Thank God you're here!" She exclaimed, beaming at him. "I've been going insane since six a.m. counting the ceiling tiles and then the tiles within the tiles. I'm so bored. Talk to me Tommy." She implored, patting the space on the bed beside her. Tommy smiled at her and crossed the room, taking her hands in his as soon as he'd sat down. She smiled as he kissed her fingers, one by one, whispering something that sounded like lyrics to her. "What are you saying Quincy?" She murmured, more to herself than him. He paused and returned his intense gaze to her face. She blushed under his scrutiny and it was then he realised how pale she'd become.

"Oh Jude, I was such a fool. How could I not have seen it? Why didn't I push you to tell me what was wrong?" He chastised himself. Jude shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "No Jude, don't say anything." Tommy cut over her as she tried to reassure him. "I should have known. I think part of me did but I didn't want to see it. Seeing it would be knowing for definite you were in pain and I hate the very idea of that." Jude's eyes welled up even more and several tears spilled out of them. Tommy chuckled lightly. "Always crying on me Harrison. Honestly I'll think you're trying to drown me if you keep this up." He joked gently, attempting to reign in his emotions. He didn't want to scare her, not now she was finally opening up to him.

"I'd always keep a life belt handy. You wouldn't drown if I was around." She told him, squeezing his hand as much as her body would allow her in her current strength. There was no way she was letting Tommy go again, it had taken a long time but she finally knew a good thing when she found it. And Tommy was more than that.


	18. Chapter 18: Final Reunion

As the weeks went on Tommy grew to know the nurses on Jude's ward by name as he kept us his daily routine of visiting her as often and as long as possible. The nurses also knew not to bother trying to get Tommy to leave with all the other visitors, after the first week or so of attempting this and having Tommy procrastinate about leaving the nurses gave up and gently reminded him every five minutes until Jude sighed reluctantly and suggested it was time Tommy went. Jude had a steady stream of other guests: her sister, her mother, her father, Darius, Kwest dropped in a few times as well. One person who hadn't visited her was Speid. Every so often Tommy would be telling her about how things were going at G Major and his name would come up, Jude would always pounce on any information about her old best friend and band member.

After another visit ended Tommy entered G Major in a sour mood. Jude had been in tears again about the lack of Speid's visits, or rather their non-existence. Tommy saw SME mucking around in one of the studios during a recording break and marched over to them. He grabbed Speid by the arm and dragged him off into another studio. Tommy slammed the door shut behind them and pushed Speid up against the wall.

"Woah dude, what's your deal?" Speid demanded, vainly attempting to free himself from Tommy's firm grip.

"You are gonna go see Jude when you're done recording." Tommy growled, glaring daggers at the younger boy

"No way man, I've got nothing to say to her."

"Speid I was not suggesting, I was not asking. You will go and see Jude this evening." Speid rolled his eyes and Tommy slammed him back to the wall, this time with more force, smirking as he winced. "Speid, Jude is a mess and the one person she wants to see right now isn't visiting her. That's you man. Look I don't know what happened between you two but stop being so pathetic. Speid she could have died, this is like another chance. Go see her and sort everything out. Visiting hours start at six." Tommy released his grip on Speid and strode out of the studio. Speid rubbed his neck where Tommy's hands had gripped it and stared after him, weighing up his two options and their outcomes.

_Later that day_

"You've got a visitor Jude honey." Nurse Wilson called out to Jude as she went past her room. Jude looked up from her notebook expecting it to be Tommy standing in the doorway. Her pen slipped from her grasp as she saw Speid standing there instead, a bunch of daisies in his hand. Jude stared at him warily as he came towards her bed. She felt something warm running down her cheek and realised she was crying. Speid placed the daisies on the end of her bed and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry dude, I was a jerk. I should've carried on talking to you instead of walking away from you that day."

"No Speid I shouldn't of pushed you away like I did."

"Hey Jude don't blame yourself. You were hurting. It was self-defence. But you should know that if you'd come to me, if you'd opened up to me then I would've been there and I would've listened. That still stands, if you ever want someone to talk to and don't want to talk to Tommy or Sadie or whatever then you can always come to me. Okay?"

Jude nodded, muted by the tears streaming down her cheeks and being absorbed by Speid's shirt. Speid squeezed his friend gently and rubbed her back, saying nothing more but not demanding anything from her. Outside Tommy arrived with his new CD for Jude to hear and pulled short outside the door. Smiling he watched through the window as the friends embraced each other and he saw Jude smile. The smile that blew him away every single time he saw it. He sat down on the chair outside Jude's room and waited patiently as the pair caught up on everything that had been going on.

Inside the room Speid saw Tommy appear and sit down outside, guessing that Tommy was here for Jude but letting them be alone together he sat down on the edge of Jude's bed. "So Jude dude, tell me something new. Tell me a story, tell me a song you've got written down, tell me one of your rubbish jokes…something, anything. I don't mind."

Jude laughed and acted offended; reaching behind her she pulled out one of her pillows and whacked Speid around the head with it. "My jokes are not rubbish!" She exclaimed, giggling as Speid mock-cowered in front of her. Outside, Tommy heard the joking and Jude's unmistakable laugh and smiled. Now Jude had her best friend back she could begin to get better again.


	19. Chapter 19: 6 months On

6 months later

_6 months later_

Tommy smiled to himself and turned up one of Jude's old songs. This was the Jude he remembered, this was the Jude he fell in love with, and this was the Jude he was taking home from the rehabilitation centre. After that night at the VMAs and Jude's brief spell in hospital she'd checked herself into a rehabilitation centre away from the spotlight. Now Jude was deemed well enough to leave the centre as an outpatient for the next six months whilst the staff kept an eye on her before permanently discharging her from their records. Tommy was on his way to pick her up right now and take her home with him, something he was looking forward to immensely.

As Tommy pulled up and got out of the car he heard a scream and suddenly the air was knocked out of him as an excited red-haired girl flung herself at him. Tommy chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Hi to you too." He whispered into her hair. Jude said nothing: she simply buried herself in Tommy's chest and inhaled his scent, relishing the fact that it no longer smelled of the strong bleach they used in the centre to mask the smell of a recovering addict's vomit from the night before. They stood like that for several minutes before Jude's counsellor from the centre made her way down the steps to address them.

"Jude, take care of yourself. Remember you can call here, me or your sponsor anytime you need to talk to someone…Tommy," she shook his hand and, keeping hold of his hand, looked him square in the eyes before continuing, "take good care of her." She simply said as she let go of his hand. Tommy nodded, deadly serious, and slipped his hand into Jude's.

"Don't worry doctor, I will." He promised, his focus on Jude more than the doctor herself. Jude smiled, giggled, and leant against him, her blush clashing with her flaming red hair.

The doctor smiled at them both and handed Jude a small card with her number on it. "If you need me." She said before leaving the pair alone again. Jude pushed the card into her back pocket and allowed herself to be spun round to face Tommy.

"Where to my dear?" He asked, putting his forehead against hers. Jude grinned and shrugged her shoulders, trying to hold back a gleeful giggle at the combined joy of being out of the centre and being in Tommy's arms. "If you don't answer me I'll just take you back to my house." Tommy informed her. Jude grinned even wider and shrugged her shoulders again, mocking him and daring him to take up his threat at the same time. "Right," Tommy stated as he picked Jude up and flung her over his shoulder in a style quite similar to a caveman, "my house it is." He carried a giggling Jude to his car, her bags in his other hand, and set her down outside the passenger door so he could open the door for her. Jude slid into the car with a nod of her head and a special smile for Tommy as she shut her eyes as she enjoyed the luxurious feel of the car's leather interior after months of stiff bed sheets and hard chairs.

Getting into the driver's side Tommy caught Jude's expression and shook his head as he laughed quietly to himself. Anybody would think she'd been living in a cave for the last six months. Whilst the centre wasn't exactly the height of comfort, the patients were there to get better not live in the lap of luxury, it wasn't all that bad. Then again Jude's senses had always been more tuned than most people's he knew. Suddenly Jude opened her eyes and shot Tommy the look she reserved just for him, the one that made him melt everytime. Tommy grinned back at her and revved his car engine before pulling out of the centre's car park.

As they drove down the country lane with the car top down Jude flicked on the radio and a summery song blared out. Jude cocked her head to one side, lowered the volume and shouted to Tommy "do you know what band this is?"

Tommy thought for a moment before nodding and replying "it's the Rumble Strips." Jude nodded and grinned to herself, the Rumble Strips were a UK band that Jude heard online and fell in love with their sound. She'd thought she'd recognised the singer's voice. Tommy changed gear, took Jude's hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Jude smiled at him, her happiness completely unhidden, and squeezed his hand back. Settling back into the seat Jude realised that she'd grown up over the last six months. As much as she'd tried to pretend in the past she hadn't really lost all her innocence, just her way. Besides, Jude mused to herself, innocence is underrated.

_Author's Note: okay so I know this one took ages to get out but yeah. I'm thinking very much of leaving the story like this. My other idea is to do a 1-year later, and maybe a ten years later kind of thing. So please review and message letting me know what you thought of the story and what you'd like to happen._


	20. Chapter 20: Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**10 Years On**

"Hello Quincy residence"

"Yes hello, I was wondering if I could speak to my wife."

"Ah now, which wife would that be may I ask?"

"My one and only, completely and utterly fabulous wife who I've loved ever since I first met her" Tommy smiled to himself in his office at G Major as his eye caught the framed photograph of them on their wedding day. She looked so beautiful, so stunning in that picture that every time he saw the photo it took his breath away – even after nine years of marriage.

"Good answer. Now what does my darling husband require of me?"

"Well...a massage, a nice hot dinner ready for me when I get home, maybe you greeting me in that lingerie I bought you last weekend." He reeled off a list, smirking wider as he remembered her trying it on for him, lowering his voice on the last point.

"Well I would but this devastatingly gorgeous man is adamant that I'm required at the studio and well, I can't say no to a pretty face."

"You better get going then. I'll see you in five."

"Not if I see you first. By the way...I'm wearing that lingerie under my normal clothes. Goodbye." Laughing to herself she hung up the phone as Tommy's breath caught in his throat. How she loved winding him up. She grabbed her coat and locked the door behind her before driving over to the studio.

Jude strode through the doors, loving the sound her heels made against the floor tiles, and located Tommy in his office. He was staring at the phone in his hand as if he'd been promised the best present in the world only to have it snatched away from him. She smiled and chuckled lightly before knocking on the open door to get his attention. Upon seeing her he jumped up from his chair and pulled her into his office. Jude giggled as his arms wrapped around her waist pulling close and he kissed up her neck to her ear. Her giggle turned to a sigh as he pulled on her earlobe with his lips and lowered his voice to the tone that he knew she couldn't resist. "Took you long enough." He murmured as his hands crept under her top and caressed the small of her back. She moaned quietly in response and turned her head so she met his lips halfway. As they kissed his hands roamed freely over her body and pulled her as close as possible whilst she did the same. He loved it when she did that. He could feel himself getting more and more worked up and knew that something had to give.

She pulled away first. Shaking her head as he went to kiss her again, she freed herself from his grasp and walked towards the door. Knowing she had his full attention, and feeling grateful that his new office was completely isolated from the hub of G Major, Jude locked the door and shrugged off her jacket to reveal the lingerie they'd been speaking about earlier. Jude didn't trust herself to move and so waited for Tommy to see what he'd do. It didn't take long for him to cross the room and spin her round to face him. "Have I ever told you..." his lips crashed onto hers "how much" and again "how very, very much" one final time "I love you?" He slipped the silk camisole over her head and was once more blown away by her beauty. She flashed him the grin that got him every time and pulled him to her.

"You keep telling me. How about you show me, before I begin to think you're all talk and no show?" She suggested, lightly running her fingers through his hair. He chuckled and relished her moan of pleasure as he ran his fingers from her neck down to her waist and allowed his mouth to follow.

"I'd have thought after nine years of Marriage Mrs Quincy you'd know by now I never say something I can't follow through with...however if you insist I suppose I could indulge you." He kissed her stomach and returned to full height as Jude's hands ran down his back and round to the front of his jeans, smirking at the expression on his face as her hands grazed against him and he kissed her passionately. "I take that as you insisting. Very well Mrs Quincy. Let the show begin." He whispered before grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer than she already was.

An hour later Jude unlocked the door and felt the full force of a small child's hug. "Mummy!!!" Screamed the child now wrapped around her legs.

"Hello Cami how was your day with Auntie Sadie?" Jude directed the last part of her question to her sister who was making her way over to the little family holding a sleeping toddler in her arms.

"It was very, very tiring and I wished you'd told me how tiring a six year old and a two year old could be for a whole day." Sadie declared as she offloaded the Quincy's second child into Tommy's outstretched arms.

"I did tell you Sades, you chose not to believe me. Were they okay?" Jude asked, biting back her knowing chuckle. Soon Sadie would have the same issue she had with sleepless nights and busy days. Jude liked to think she was helping prepare Sadie and Speid for that practicality of their new life. Weird as it was sometimes to think that her best friend and her sister were married, they made a cute couple.

"They were fine. I'm going to go home to my husband and sleep for the next year though." With a wave over her shoulder Sadie dramatically swept out of the studio leaving behind the Quincy family.

Tommy laughed and bent down to kiss their daughter on the cheek. "C'mon you unruly child. Let's get you home. Hopefully you'll conk out in the car like your brother already has." He muttered under his breath so only Jude could hear him. She giggled and took their daughter's hand to lead her out to the car. From his office Darius watched them leave. They looked like the perfect family. Their children looked so like them – Tommy and Jude's good looks having been passed exactly onto their son and daughter – and even if they didn't you could tell they were Jude and Tommy's kids. Cami, only six and already as passionate about music as both of them and rivalling Jude in stubbornness. Whilst Jay, at aged two, had perfected his dad's winning smile to quite a scary degree of exactness. Darius waited until the door had shut behind them before venturing into Tommy's office. He picked up the wedding picture that had pride of place on the desk and looked down at their smiling faces. He'd admit he'd made some mistakes with his guidance of Jude early on in her career. He was just glad Tommy had been around to keep Jude alive. Now, nearly eleven years after they'd first met, Tommy and Jude were together and happier than they'd ever been. Making music, married to each other and with their own little family. Life for the Quincy's was good.


End file.
